Is It Normal To Be Nervous for Couples Counseling?

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Couples who are curious about couples counseling Palatine, IL offers may worry about what a session will be like. Apprehension and anxiety are both very normal feelings when getting ready for your very first visit with a couples counselor. Those who have no idea what to expect, may have questions about the process. While therapists can have slightly different approaches to counseling, the overall goal is the same to help couples overcome relationship obstacles.

Should I be prepared to talk about my feelings during couples counseling?

Yes, it is very common practice for counselors to provide a safe space where emotions can be freely expressed between the couple. Those who are not used to sharing how they feel may be uncomfortable sharing too much. However, growth is only possible if both partners are willing to talk about feelings of anger, rejection, being hurt, or feeling alone in their relationship. Sometimes, couples repeat a negative cycle that they get stuck in, and are unable to resolve it on their own. With guidance from a counselor, each partner can learn how to navigate arguments in a more healthy way.

How may my fears be addressed in the counseling sessions?

As humans, we have a fundamental need to be connected and close to others. Along with this desire, we may develop fears around losing the people we love and even build walls around us to keep us “safe”. While in fact, the walls we may put up due to our fears, can be the exact thing holding us back from true intimacy. When we begin to open ourselves up and feel safe with our partner, talking about the future (such as marriage, money, children, etc.) won’t be as threatening.

Will each of us be seen in separate sessions as well?

Each partner in the couple is likely to have independent sessions with the counselor as well, as a way to get to know each of you on an individual level. This can be a great way to express hidden feelings that you are nervous to share with your partner, so the therapist can incorporate these concerns in future sessions, without the other partner feeling cornered. But all in all, the counselor is to help each of you communicate more effectively with each other, during both the good and bad times.

I am nervous that we will fight during the session, should I be worried?

There is a reason both of you are attending couples counseling, so the therapist is likely to anticipate an argument or two arising. But, what makes arguments during the session different is that you have an unbiased party to keep you both on track. In many cases, arguments stem from the underlying feelings rather than the event itself. A couples counselor can help you work through smaller and larger arguments, whether the topics include infidelity, trust, miscommunication, money, sex, intimacy, bickering, resentments, and more. The most successful couples are those that are willing to be open to the process.

Thank you to our friends and contributors at the Lotus Wellness Center for their insight into couples therapy and having nerves beforehand.