Couples Counseling When You Are Considering Divorce
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Even if you and your spouse have been married for decades, you are likely still prone to fights and disagreements. So, whether you have been married for five days or five years, you might be considering getting a divorce if you and your spouse cannot seem to get along anymore. Before filing for divorce, however, it is important to see if you and your spouse can work through your problems, and one of the best ways to do so is through couples counseling. While many people believe that going to couples counseling is a quick fix where a therapist will give you the answer to your problems after your session, this is not the case. In fact, it may take many sessions for you and your spouse to finally get to the root of your problems. Before considering divorce to be your only option, please reach out to a caring counselor to see how they can help.
What does a couples counselor recommend doing before filing for a divorce?
Before you take the big step of filing for divorce, there are many things we recommend you try to see if you and your spouse can make it work.
- Determine if it is a Rough Patch. There is a difference between going through years of problems that do not resolve and going through a rough patch. It is important to know that a rough patch may last several weeks or even several years. When you go to couples counseling, you and your spouse can discuss the heart of the issue to determine the best resolution.
- Is any part of your marriage worth saving? When you and your spouse can find aspects in your marriage that are worth saving and that make you happy, don’t settle for a divorce. After years of marriage, it can be easy to focus primarily on each other’s weaknesses instead of the positive parts. In couples counseling, we can help to restructure these thought patterns to focus on the positives.
- Focus on Physical Touch. When you are arguing with someone or feeling ambivalent toward them, you likely do not want to comfort them, touch them, or show them affection. However, even if you start out by forcing this physical touch, it can begin to create patterns of caring and affection when your or your spouse is going through a hard time. When you feel that you have lost the “spark” in your relationship, one of the best things you can do is create it again.
- Focus on the Things you can Control. There are certain things in a marriage that are simply out of control. However, the way you react to your spouse and act in certain situations is within your control. By reshaping how you act and speak, you may be able to diffuse difficult situations before they happen.
If you and your spouse are considering divorce, please reach out to a counselor for couples counseling in Palatine, IL today.
Thanks to Lotus Wellness Center for their insight into therapy and couples counseling when divorce may be on the horizon.